Welcome to the 5th issue of End Self-Sabotage, a fortnightly newsletter by me, Robert McFadden, with a focus on recognizing personal challenges, creating productive alternatives, and living your best life. I'm glad you're here.

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Sunday, November 24, 2024

Hi again!

Ever notice how the first few minutes of your day can so easily become your ultimate dealmaker—or breaker? Wake up to the warm, buttery scent of fresh croissants, and - bingo! - you're basking in the best of all possible multiverses. Stub your toe and - bam! - you’re catapulted into an endless Groundhog Day of Mondays.

For the past few days, I’ve been particularly appreciative of how my morning routine - when running on all cylinders - carries me so effortlessly through into my hours ahead. It’s nothing complex—just three small steps. Still, over time, these steps have become my anchors. They’ve kept me rooted in my values, aligned with my sense of purpose, and set me off with a clear, consistent mindset each morning.

Yet, as with any good routine, there’s always the question: What happens when life throws a curveball? When your anchors are tested, and those familiar habits are disrupted?

Before getting into that, here’s how my morning routine goes:

1) The Furry Alarm Clock: This will sound familiar if you have a pet. My morning starts with feeding my cat, who, let’s be honest, would never let me forget. But here’s the shift: rather than seeing this inevitable interaction as just another chore, I’ve come to appreciate it as a ridiculously simple opportunity to put one of my core values into practice: be of service to others. Kicking off my day with this one small, conscious act of care—even if only for my furry friend—sets the tone for attentiveness and support throughout my day.

2) Reconnecting with Myself: Next up comes my bathroom routine—showering, flossing, brushing, the works. Instead of skipping steps or rushing, this is a little window of time for me to actively practice another of my core values:  "Be gentle with yourself." While it’s all too easy to find yourself constantly fixated on the needs of others (I’m looking at you, cat), self-care is a must that, without specific attention, is often set aside for “later.”

3) Make Coffee: This last part of my routine takes care of itself. One note of interest: since coming at the end of my morning routine, coffee has evolved into a one-stop milestone in my morning rather than a guilty caffeine-crazed rush for energy throughout the day ☕.

The thing is, it hasn’t always been this way. Before getting into this routine, my mornings were frequently chaotic and, frankly, inconsistent. Whatever first crossed my mind when I woke up - that set the tenor for the day. But there was the cat, bugging me for food, distracting me from getting on with my plans, and basically turning my morning into a feline-led circus. And self-care? “Nice idea - I’ll do that… later.” Coffee? No problem: I could easily have downed five before noon. 

I was the proverbial dog being wagged by its tail.

The real transformation only happened when I chose to prioritize my choices and values, claiming my mornings as an intentional practice of self-leadership. Suddenly, those small, simple actions—feeding my cat, practicing self-care, and even brewing that coffee—became anchors that grounded me. They turned my mornings from a race against time into a purposeful start, allowing me to show up not as a victim of my obligations but as Roger Federer, 2017 Australian Open edition 🎾.

So, as I mentioned, this all sounds great… until things go off the rails. Maybe it happens when the weekend arrives or in March as you hit the trail for Waikiki. Maybe it just takes one late night of celebrating at your bestie’s birthday bash…

Sooner or later, morning routines get tested. For me, it’s travel. Which brings me to why, for the past few days, I’ve been so appreciative of how my morning routine. 

Two days ago, I began an extended, multi-stop trip—one where my usual comforts and triggers will not be there to support me. No cat to remind me to be of service, no familiar bathroom setup to make self-care automatic... (coffee I will find). It may sound like a recipe for chaos—but you know what? I'm ready for it. Here’s how I’m planning to adapt and stay grounded on the road:

Part 1: Find something to care for. Maybe that means pulling back the curtains to give a random hotel plant some light, or turning off the room lights to save a little energy. Before bed, I’ll try to spot a small gesture I can make that triggers my mindset of care.

Part 2: Set up a morning scenario that even half-asleep me can’t mess up. That means unpacking my bathroom bag on arrival and getting everything in place so there’s less chance of skipping self-care for that first coffee fix. Speaking of which…

Part 3: Coffee—this part is easy. My routine MVP, no matter where I am. Whether it’s a hotel lobby brew or a local café, I can always count on coffee as my “I’ll-be -there -for-ya” travel buddy, no questions asked.

So, over the coming weeks, I look forward to testing out how I can prep for self-care the night before and finding those little opportunities to be of service. And as for coffee? It knows where to find me. 

Will my plan hold up on the road? What new ways will I find to stay grounded and intentional each morning? I'm genuinely excited (and very curious) to see how it goes. And if you have any suggestions for keeping a morning routine consistent while traveling, I’m all ears. Maybe together, we can nail down new ways to make mornings both more meaningful and effortless—no matter where we wake up.

Until next time, remember: take care of what matters—whether it’s feeding your cat, scrubbing behind your ears, or channeling your inner croissant connoisseur 🥐.

Morning Momentum

Establish Your Routine for a Successful Day

Want to conquer your day with energy and confidence? From boosting your mood to enhancing mental clarity, these morning hacks prep you for success.

Every morning brings a fresh chance to set the stage for a stellar day. Imagine waking up with a sense of purpose, ready to conquer your goals. A well-crafted morning routine can transform your mindset and energy levels, creating a cascading effect that carries you through the day with continue…

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Just Here for the Insights

Some timely tips you maybe missed…

Making Meaning

The words you use to describe your beliefs, intentions, and actions can have a funny way of skewing your outcomes. What you mean and how you’re understood can sometimes be like apples and asteroids… creating dubious, if not dire, results.

TRY

If "try" had a motto, it might be something like, "I’ll give this my best shot, but let’s not make any promises!"—which pretty much nails the word’s curious blend of optimism and uncertainty.

These days, “try” is a word drenched in hope yet tinged with uncertainty. It’s all about effort with no guarantees. This dual nature can be both liberating and frustrating. When you say, “I’ll try,” it might give you that little nudge to start something new, or it may feel like you’re hedging your bets—a built-in safety net in case things go sideways.

On the bright side, "try" encourages risk-taking and stepping out of your comfort zone, both of which are crucial for personal and professional growth. But here’s the flip side: it can also water down your commitment, signaling that you’re not fully all-in.

For navigating “try,” context is critical. If a situation calls for clarity and firm resolve, "try" is probably not your best option. Consider swapping it out for something more definitive. But when your outcome is up for grabs and your journey is what counts, “try” may just be the perfect fit. It acknowledges and embraces the uncertainty that often accompanies growth. So, while "try" can be either a stepping stone or a stumbling block, the trick comes in knowing when to use it—and when to aim for something more concrete.

Share the Love

Funky hunches, cool connections, and motivating moments to shift perspectives, promote appreciation, and spark new life hacks…

DEPARTMENT OF DOING

Hit the Road, Bob!

As I mentioned off the top, I’m on the road for the moment, on my way to spend the winter in Melaque, Mexico, via Annapolis, Palm Springs, and San Francisco. If you’re up for setting up a coaching session together, I’m currently booked through to early January and look forward to crossing virtual paths on Zoom with you then :).

Thanks for reading this far.

Thanks for your kindness and generosity.

Stay healthy.

And please do drop me a line with your best travel routine tips :)!

See you December 8th!

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Robert McFadden is the author of Love Your Negative Self-Talk: turn your most vicious critic into your most valued collaborator and the End Self-Sabotage | VIRTUAL COACHING series of online coaching sessions and programs.

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